


Church Candles

by sleeplittlechild



Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-18 20:38:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9402038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleeplittlechild/pseuds/sleeplittlechild
Summary: Alec takes Magnus and the boys to an unexpected place, to do an unexpected event.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Just want to put a note - this is not to push any agendas. I do not insist that Alec, Magnus, the boys, or any of the TMI characters to be strictly one religion or another - or any religion at all. This was just something I thought would be heart-felt and meaningful. Enjoy.

They’d had Rafael for a year. Magnus couldn’t believe it. Rafael had been a frightened, fiery little boy, wary of everything and everyone. But Alec had seen in him, and showed it to Magnus, too, a spark of hope still going. Now, he was playing pretend with his little brother and giggling like he was possessed. Magnus wondered if his sons would remember to breathe anytime soon. He felt himself laughing over the kitchen stove as he made pancakes.

The door opened and shut and the boys scrambled up from the floor to mob their father. (As much as two little boys could a 6’3” man.) Alec had something in his arms, a box, that he jumbled with trying to maintain balance. “Hold up boys – have you even had breakfast yet?”

“Papa hasn’t finished the ‘cakes yet!” Max yelled and Alec told him he needed to use his inside voice. He stepped carefully towards the table until the boys understood and took their places, forks at the ready.

“I was listening to your story-time. Excuse me, good sirs, your _pancakes_ are here.” Magnus placed a heavy plate of fluffy pancakes on the table, waiting for Alec to place the box down and take his place. His boys jumped on them like they hadn’t eaten in days. (As young boys are want to do.) Magnus rolled his eyes and took his seat across Alec.

Rafael, with his mouth 90% pancake, turned to Alec. “When are we going?”

“After you brush your teeth.” Alec tapped Rafael’s cheek – a sign they had come up with to remind Rafael to chew. The boy nodded, as if the answer satisfied him.

“Going? Going where?” Magnus raised an eye at his boyfriend.

Alec rubbed at his neck. “Well…I thought we could bring the boys to the Institute. Have a fun day around the place.”

Magnus laughed. “I wouldn’t necessarily classify the Institute as a ‘fun’ place.” Alec’s face fell. Magnus took pity on him, picking up a knife and fork to begin on his own breakfast. “But, I have to admit it is a beautiful place to spend a day.” Magnus could _hear_ the grin on Alec’s face. He caught Alec’s eye with a smirk right back.

Rafael and Max shoveled through three servings of pancakes, fruit, and juice and made a jettison for their coats and shoes. Magnus, although he was laughing, tightly took their hands and reminded his sons that after breakfast, we brush our teeth. Rafael tried to say that he never saw Magnus or Alec do that, but it was hard to understand him with toothpaste in his mouth.

When Magnus came back out and Max and Rafael were dressed to go Alec was standing at the door, with that box from earlier in his hands. Magnus furrowed his brows and nodded towards the thing. Alec shuffled it around for a better grip, but said nothing more than, “You’ll see.” Alec wasn’t one for surprises, but Magnus let him be. Now there were plenty of times when Magnus would portal the family straight to the Institute, but there were also plenty of times the quartet walked the five blocks. Magnus suggested going mundane today, thinking of how much energy the boys had had that morning – and that was _before_ they had anything to eat. A walk would do them good.

When they got to the Institute, Alec stopped Magnus from going through the tunnel entrance, which would take them almost directly into the control center. “This way.” He said and he entered through the church. Rafael held Max’s hand and they jumped up each step on their way to follow. Magnus’s suspicions were rising and he gave a hearty side-eye to his boyfriend, but he did follow, too.

When they entered, the hall was fairly dim. The only lighting came from the tall windows and the votive candles display which Alec was currently standing in front of, setting up 7 tall white candles on the top row.

“Daddy, what you doing?” Max approached him, Rafael a little bit behind. Alec’s smile reached from ear to ear. He scooped his youngest into his arm, propping him up on his hip. In his free hand, he held a long taper and lit it from the offering candle.

“Do you know what these are, Max?” The little one shook his head. “Do you, Rafael?” Alec made way for his other son, who seemed entranced by the display.

Rafael didn’t say anything for the longest time. Alec saw tears forming in his eyes as they waited. Eventually, Rafael nodded and cleared his throat. “ _Votivas_. You light them for someone who’s dead.”

Alec nodded. He reached out and lit the wick of one. “You light them for someone who want to remember.” He took one of Max’s hands and leaned forward so they could light another together. “For someone you loved and lost.” Alec turned to Rafael, who had tears rolling down his cheek, but otherwise was silent. “Do you want to light one?”

Rafael was silent still for a measure. He sniffled and rubbed at his face before he nodded. Alec gently placed Max on a pew and returned to pick Rafael up. The young boy carefully lit two of them. Alec hugged him tight and Rafael let out a small sob. Magnus could feel his heart breaking and coming together all at the same time.

This was something Rafael had needed for a long time: To mourn the parents he had lost years ago in the Dark War. To cry for the love he had had ripped away from him. And Alec was there to hold him as he made it through.

Rafael’s crying turned to hiccupping. Alec placed him beside Max. The brothers hugged each other. Magnus could see Max’s tiny blue hand wipe away the tear tracks on his brother’s face. Rafael held the tiny warlock closer, soaking any and every comfort. Alec reached out his hand and Magnus took it, walking up to the display with still three unlit candles.

Magnus raised an eyebrow. He pointed at each one, looking to Alec for confirmation. “Max. Max’s Mom. Rafael’s parents.” After each one, Alec nodded in affirmation. Magnus then pointed to the last three. “Who are these for?”

Alec’s smile, if it hadn’t already, went melancholy. He reached over and placed the taper into Magnus’s other hand. “For you to light.”

“Me?”

“For Ragnor, Mags. And Raphael. And Malcolm.” Magnus thought he could feel a shiver run through him. “No matter what he did, he was still your friend and you lost him.”

Magnus was dumbstruck. He stared at the flickering flames as thoughts ran through his head, not all of them discernible. Alec squeezed his hand. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just thought you might want this. Might need this.” His voice filtered through the noise. Magnus shook his head. He raised his hand and light one of them.

He thought of Ragnor, his best friend, the “little dear cabbage” who was as bitter as an onion and twice as fun. Who was jaded beyond all belief and still believed there was good left in the world. Who had saved a young Indonesian boy when it felt like nobody in the world would.

He lit another.

Raphael. A 15-year-old boy from Harlem who wanted nothing more than to protect his family, protect his home. A boy that suffered and tormented himself just so he could see them again. A leader and a fighter and the most sarcastic little annoyance Magnus ever welcomed into his home.

He lit another.

Magnus felt a twinge at the thought of Malcolm. He hadn’t known Malcolm well outside of Ragnor and Cat, but he knew the pain he had felt. He had loved so deeply, so passionately, he was the reason Magnus always did and always would believe in true love. He was funny, he had (seemed) carefree, and always had the perfect thing to say. Malcolm had given everything for Annabel, Magnus only hoped they were happy together in the after-life.

Alec squeezed his hand again, tighter this time. He placed his head on Magnus’s shoulders, not saying anything when those shoulders started to shake. He reached over and took the taper from his hand, dousing it in the offered water. They stood together, watching the flames in relative silence.

Alec felt a tug on his pant-leg. Looking down, Max was pointing over at Rafael, who still sat on the pew. “Rafe wants to pray.” Max stressed the word. He had never heard the word before.

“I…” Rafael’s wavering voice echoed in the empty church. Magnus and Alec looked over at him, with his head bowed and hands folded. “I don’t know how to say it in English.”

Alec’s smile turned a little brighter. He pulled away from Magnus, but gave him a kiss on his cheek. His lover, this wonderful man, picked up one son and went to sit by the other. “Which one do you want to pray?”

“ _Descanso eterno_.”

Alec blinked for a moment, remembering and translating. “Okay.” He turned his attention to Max. “Do you want to pray, Max? You can stand with Papa, if you want. It’s ok.” Max shook his head;  he wanted to stay. Alec showed him how to fold his hands and explained that it was respectful to bow your head and close your eyes, too. Max nodded along, squeezing his eyes shut. It was almost comical, if not for the bittersweet atmosphere.

_Eternal rest, grant unto them O Lord,_

_And let perpetual light shine upon them_

_May the souls of all the faithful departed_

_Through the mercy of God, rest in peace._

Rafael repeated the words, carefully moving his mouth over every syllable. They stayed like that a moment more. Alec was the first to open his eyes and immediately, they connected with Magnus. Every defense was down, anything that could keep him together was gone – tears streamed down his face. Alec stood slowly, approached his lover and hugged him tightly. Max, over his shoulder, hugged too with his little face smooshed into the crook of Magnus’s neck. Magnus gasped for breath, burying his face in Alec’s hair.

He’d lost so many people. It was just an inevitability when you were immortal. This was probably the first time, in his four-hundred years, he had ever properly _cried_ for them.

All because of Alec.

Neither knew how long they stood there together and neither were very eager to count the seconds. When they did pull away, Magnus bubbled through a laugh at how messy Max’s hair had become. He ran a hand through it, tickling his little blueberry in the process. Alec just smiled and watched.

“Are you okay?” He asked. “I can take the boys and go see Clary, if you need some time.”

Magnus looked at Alec. Slowly, his own face broke out into a smile. A small one, his heart still heavy, but he smiled at the love and care and tenderness that Alec had for him at the ready. Magnus pulled Alec in for a chaste kiss, hoping he could convey everything he felt at the one moment.

“We’ll be in the library. If you need anything…”

“I’ll have you.” And Magnus meant in more ways than just today. And Alec knew it.

Alec placed a kiss on his forehead, then had Max do the same, just to make Magnus laugh. Turning away, Alec placed a hand on Rafael's shoulders. The little hair of brown curls looked up and Alec nodded at Magnus. He was like a rocket, jumping off the bench and barreling into his Papa's open arms. Magnus cradled him close, pressing kisses to his hair. Rafael sniffled, maybe all out of tears, but probably just exhausted by the whole thing. Eventually they parted. "I love you." Magnus said, wiping away the tears that still remained. Rafael nodded. He didn't need to say anything - Magnus knew. His heart went out to the trudging of his little angel’s feet, taking Alec's hand. Rafael would probably pass out the moment he found a chair.

Magnus took a deep breathe. He turned back to the candles, staring down at the three. Their memories would be with him forever, if they weren’t with him physically. And with Alec’s help, the pain at their loss would turn into melancholy fondness. And for now…it was okay to be in pain.

So Magnus did something he hadn’t done in four-hundred years.

He prayed.

**Author's Note:**

> Who cried while writing this - nearly me! And the only thing that stopped me was a coworker coming in and talking about sewing machines. [Thank god - I was near to bawling]. But I hoped you guys enjoyed this. 
> 
> After finishing Lady Midnight, I was mad at Malcolm, but I also felt for Magnus and everyone. And, with writing 'Know That I Love You', I had to actually sit down and go, "So...who's dead." So, here's a little piece that we can all mourn for them properly with.
> 
> I want to make apologies to any Argentinian Christians/Catholics (and any other latinx person I may have offended.) I wanted to put in more of Rafael referring to things in Spanish, but...religion in other countries is really something you need to experience first-hand. Can't exactly google that stuff. So I _did_ google what I could. If anyone can offer anything more - please do! I'll be happy to rewrite with new information.


End file.
